We had a “strict policy” for getting paid by our customers: “Half down, half on completion.”
Yeah, right. That held for maybe our first six months in business. As time went on, circumstances sometimes demanded a little flexibility. Retrospectively, It seems like we were always hand-to-mouth. We needed timely payment from our customers in order to make payroll and to make our own obligations on time.
Best and worst excuses we heard for not paying on time.
BEST
#1 “I got hit by lightning.”
True story. We had a good customer in New Mexico who one day blew by his exemplary record of always paying on time. We let it slide for a while and then finally contacted him by phone. (The exact details of his story may not be completely accurate, but the story is verified true.)
It was raining and he had just left his car in the parking lot of the local hospital where he had an appointment, and he was hurrying across the grass toward the front door of the building. Lighting suddenly struck the flagpole near him on the grounds. The electrical power from the strike traveled across the lawn and catapulted him out of his shoes to a crash landing a good ten feet from where it hit him.
People came running to assist him and extinguished the fire on his pantlegs, as he tried to remember who and where he was, and they transported him straight to Emergency. His various physical and mental capabilities slowly recovered, and he was kept overnight and released the following day.
In the ensuing couple of weeks he said he felt like he had “a hangover”. He eventually felt recovered enough to drive a car, and his son accompanied him on his first outing.
“Dad, do you know that you just ran a red light at that intersection?”
“There’s a traffic light at that intersection? When did they put that there?”
The son took care of paying his account with us. Our guy eventually recovered completely and is still hard at work producing beautiful sculpture.
#2. “I got hit by a tram.”
This one, again verified, happened to a customer in Toronto. He was crossing a street on foot and got clobbered. He spent several weeks in the hospital. His mind was not immediately focused on paying a foundry bill. But he recovered and he did pay up. And he’s OK.
WORST
#1. “You can’t get blood from a turnip.”
This was a guy from New Mexico who showed up to collect his completed sculptures and hit us with the sob story that he would not be able to pay the second half of his bill until he delivered the goods to his customers.
Unh huh. He of course said he would deliver the sculptures as soon as he returned home and would immediately send us a check. Right.
Months passed and we kept in touch with him periodically to remind him about his bill, and he didn’t pay it. We finally wrote it off when his wife delivered the line, “You can’t get blood from a turnip.”
Then, (and I still can’t believe this) years later, he shows up looking for a job. I don’t know whether he was hoping I wouldn’t recognize him, or wouldn’t remember, but I did and I did. I told him I wouldn’t even consider hiring him until he cleared his foundry bill.
I could not tell from his reaction whether or not he had remembered when he walked through the door, but he covered well, asked what he owed, and reluctantly paid it.
I did not hire him.
#2. “Please hold this check for a week so I can have time to transfer funds into my sculpture account.”
And it’s lame partner….
#3. “I have a Money Market Account that I can’t touch for two weeks or I’ll lose interest on the account. I’ll call and let you know when you can deposit this check.”
For #2 and #3 … response not given:
“Hey, lame-o! Let me get this straight. You want me to meet payroll by borrowing money from the bank at whatever exorbitant rate they are charging, so that you can earn another twelve cents in interest on your playtime money? Sounds like a great plan.”
#4. “Sorry, I can’t pay for this until I deliver it to my customer and get paid.”
Yeah, right.
Artists
Interesting People IV
Don’t judge a book….
One day a man I didn’t know came into the shop on an exploratory quest to find out exactly how a bronze sculpture is created. He had read several articles on the subject, had bought some sculpting clay, and had sculpted a small, rudimentary rendition of a Buffalo Soldier.
I spent some time with him explaining the foundry process and showing him through the shop. He was a good listener, but he had little to say, and most of his side of the conversation seemed to be a regurgitation of what I had just explained, and asking seemingly simplistic questions.
When he departed, several staff members, having heard parts of our conversations, shook their heads and asked me who he was and what that was all about. To this day I regret my snarky response to their inquiries, “Yeah, not the brightest bulb on the tree.”
In the ensuing months he came in several more times. Although he was very stoic and not particularly communicative, he listened well and the quality of his sculptural efforts showed dramatic improvement. At one point he finally decided that one of his clay sculptures was good enough that he would have us cast it in bronze.
He was quite pleased with the finished product and proceeded to create more sculpture. One day he came in and I notice a change in his countenance. He seemed “down” and distracted and I asked him about it.
He replied that he had just come from an exam at the University of Arizona, and he was not pleased with his performance.
“Blew it, huh,” I commented.
“Oh, no …. I passed it all right. But I studied for it in German and the test was given in Arabic.”
…. Drop mic! Needless to say I was dumfounded. I pressed him further and learned that he was a military interrogator stationed at Fort Huachuca, and that he was conversant in SIX languages and dialects!
Here stands I, who gets by on a smidgen of border Spanish, and has difficulty navigating his own American English. I’m the guy who labeled this brilliant man standing in front of me as, “Not the brightest bulb on the tree.”
Humbling lesson.
Interesting People III
Although the bulk of our work at Desert Crucible was casting bronze sculpture for other artists, we did experiment with potential saleable products of our own. At one point we were developing distinctive cabinet hardware with a Tohono O’odham motif. We had completed fewer than a dozen designs when we decided to photograph and advertise them in a local arts publication to see if we could generate any interest.
Tom and I were working together in the foundry one Saturday afternoon when a non-assuming, attractive young woman and her male companion came in. She was from out of town, had seen our ad, and was there to see the hardware. Actually I think she was there to first assure herself of the quality of the work, and having accomplished that to encourage us to expand the line by adding an Apache motif.
She was one of those “down home” types of people who are pleasant to be around. We gave her a tour of the foundry and just chatted with her about a number of things. At some point the conversation got around to music. We discussed a number of bands and musical artists and our various preferences. She asked if we were into country, and neither of us was.
When she left, Tom and I looked at each other and agreed that her visit had kind of made our day. It’s unfortunately not that often that you get to interact with people that are just …. nice.
Months later, I was listening to the radio when a song I particularly like came on and I turned up the volume. I realized that I knew the song and knew the artist’s voice, but I did not know the name of the artist. Her voice was familiar, not just from this song but from somewhere else as well. I googled the song “Help me make it through the night.”
A number of artists had recorded the song, but the rendition I liked was by Sammi Smith. And there she was on the album cover. Sammi, I regret that we did not recognize you when you visited Desert Crucible. All I can say now is that you added a couple of new fans to your fan base.
Interesting People II
Desert Crucible began casting artist Ted DeGrazia’s work in the late 1970’s. He and my dad had been long-time friends dating back to their undergraduate years at the University of Arizona and their shared interest in art, in music, and in survival in lean times.
Tom and I referred to him as “El Jefe.” I remember the first payment check we got from DeGrazia. I don’t remember the exact dollar amount, but it was small – probably less than $100. What I do recall about it was what he said as he handed it to me: “If you will hang on to this – save it and not cash it – it will be worth a lot more in years to come.” He grinned because he knew we were trying to collect enough cash to meet payroll.
And we cashed the check and it went to payroll. I wonder what a collector would pay for that uncashed check with the distinctive Ted DeGrazia signature today!
Interesting People
One of the things I enjoyed the most in my years at Desert Crucible was interacting with a diverse and fascinating collection of customer sculptors and buyers who came through our door.
I remember one occasion when I was examining an artist’s clay sculpture to derive a price to produce it in bronze, when I noticed that he had a sketchbook with him. I asked if I might look through it, and he graciously allowed me to do so.
I was particularly interested in one set of illustrations, and he commented, “Oh, I was an illustrator for an old comic book character called ‘Captain Marvel.’ That was before your time.”
“Before my time? SHAZAM, buddy!”
He was taken aback, and delighted to learn that I was familiar with the character.
(For those who did not grow up reading comic books, Captain Marvel was one of the original “superheroes.” The continuing story was about the adventures of a young boy who, after meeting with a dying wizard, was imbued with the power to transform himself into a costumed adult with superhuman abilities, simply by speaking the magic word “SHAZAM!”)
Over the ensuing months of interaction with our new customer, I learned from him that the word SHAZAM was an acronym for six “immortal elders” and their attributes – S for Solomon and his wisdom, H for Hercules and his strength, A for Atlas and his stamina, Z for Zeus and his powers, A for Achilles and his courage, and M for Mercury and his speed.
Keep an open mind with the people you meet. You never know …