Best and Worst Excuses for Late Payment of Bill

We had a “strict policy” for getting paid by our customers: “Half down, half on completion.”

Yeah, right. That held for maybe our first six months in business. As time went on, circumstances sometimes demanded a little flexibility. Retrospectively, It seems like we were always hand-to-mouth. We needed timely payment from our customers in order to make payroll and to make our own obligations on time.

Best and worst excuses we heard for not paying on time.

BEST

#1   “I got hit by lightning.”

True story. We had a good customer in New Mexico who one day blew by his exemplary record of always paying on time. We let it slide for a while and then finally contacted him by phone. (The exact details of his story may not be completely accurate, but the story is verified true.)

It was raining and he had just left his car in the parking lot of the local hospital where he had an appointment, and he was hurrying across the grass toward  the front door of the building. Lighting suddenly struck the flagpole near him on the grounds. The electrical power from the strike traveled across the lawn and catapulted him out of his shoes to a crash landing a good ten feet  from where it hit him.

People came running to assist him and extinguished the fire on his pantlegs, as he tried to remember who and where he was, and they transported him straight  to Emergency. His various physical and mental capabilities slowly recovered, and he was kept overnight and released the following day.

In the ensuing couple of weeks he said he felt like he had “a hangover”. He eventually felt recovered enough to drive a car, and his son accompanied him on his first outing.

“Dad, do you know that you just ran a red light at that intersection?”

“There’s a traffic light at that intersection? When did they put that there?”

The son took care of paying his account with us. Our guy eventually recovered completely and is still hard at work producing beautiful sculpture.

#2.  “I got hit by a tram.”

This one, again verified, happened to a customer in Toronto. He was crossing a street on foot and got clobbered. He spent several weeks in the hospital. His mind was not immediately focused on paying a foundry bill. But he recovered and he did pay up. And he’s OK.

WORST

#1.  “You can’t get blood from a turnip.”

This was a guy from New Mexico who showed up to collect his completed sculptures and hit us with the sob story that he would not be able to pay the second half of his bill until he delivered the goods to his customers.

Unh huh. He of course said he would deliver the sculptures as soon as he returned home and would immediately send us a check. Right.

Months passed and we kept in touch with him periodically to remind him about his bill, and he didn’t pay it. We finally wrote it off when his wife delivered the line, “You can’t get blood from a turnip.”

Then, (and I still can’t believe this) years later, he shows up looking for a job. I don’t know whether he was hoping I wouldn’t recognize him, or wouldn’t remember, but I did and I did. I told him I wouldn’t even consider hiring him until he cleared his foundry bill.

I could not tell from his reaction whether or not he had remembered when he walked through the door, but he covered well, asked what he owed, and reluctantly paid it.

I did not hire him.

#2. “Please hold this check for a week so I can have time to transfer funds into my sculpture account.”

And it’s lame partner….

#3. “I have a Money Market Account that I can’t touch for two weeks or I’ll lose interest on the account. I’ll call and let you know when you can deposit this check.”

For #2 and #3 … response not given:

“Hey, lame-o! Let me get this straight. You want me to meet payroll by borrowing money from the bank at whatever exorbitant rate they are charging, so that you can earn another twelve cents in interest on your playtime money? Sounds like a great plan.”

#4. “Sorry, I can’t pay for this until I deliver it to my customer and get paid.”

Yeah, right.